The View From The Passenger Seat

October 17, 2013

The View From The Passenger Seat

I am bad at being injured. I've heard it said that nurses make the worst patients and in my case it's probably true. I knew last week that my ankle was not ok and that I probably shouldn't go back to work, but I had sat around for 5 days and was going insane not being able to do anything so I told myself it would be fine (even though I was barely able to walk around my apartment and common sense would say that there was no way I would make it through a 12 hour shift). But I went anyway and hobbled around in pain for 6 hours until I lost all feeling in my toes. This is stupid and if a patient told me they had done this I would have told them it was ridiculous. A return trip to the doctor resulted in a big black boot and crutches....not my idea of a good time.

The lack of mobility and inability to do basic things like carry a drink to a different room without spilling are frustrating enough, but I have found that having to accept help from people is extremely difficult for me. Having to ask someone for help is infuriating. Apparently, I would rather struggle along by myself than allow others to help.

I have always valued my independence and have never viewed it as a character flaw, but over the past few weeks God has shown me that this attitude is not pleasing to Him. He showed me that my desire to be independent and refuse to acknowledge that I need other people can actually end up causing me to hurt myself more...I'm not just talking about my ankle here. It's unfortunate that it took a physical injury to break through to me, but God knows what he's doing. I've had lots of time to think and lots of opportunities to practice letting friends and family help me. It hurts my pride quite a bit, but I guess that's okay since the example of Jesus is humility. God is slowly working on my heart to teach me how to graciously accept the help that is offered to me and I am fortunate to have wonderful people in my life who are willing to be patient with me as I learn this lesson.

One opportunity to learn presented itself through my need to get back to Missouri. Since I was unable to continue working but also not certain that I could drive 18 hours across country with my foot in the boot, I realized I was going to need help. Thankfully, my mom was able to fly in to Fayetteville, help me pack up my apartment, clean, and drive me home.

I know that this was not convenient or necessarily fun for her; but there was no way I could have done it on my own. I think we had a good time in spite of the circumstances. I am used to driving myself across the country, but it was a real blessing to be able to enjoy the views from the passenger seat for once. Here are a few highlights: